One step forward, three steps backwards!!!

Well, we have officially turned a beautiful little almost four year old's world upside-down! It has been pretty rough for Xiao E to accept the fact that she will not be returning "home." "She likes it at the orphanage," she tells our guide. She says "She can't understand baba and mama!" She holds on tight to any Chinese person who communicates with her. How frustrating for someone so small. Who am I kidding? It is frustrating to me to not be able to communicate to people at MY age!

Yesterday and today have been rough. Xiao E spent some time talking this morning to our guide and our guide reassured her about mama and baba, but Xiao E can play the game of cooperating to get her way.....out of the room to find her way back home! Poor baby! After this morning, she really got tight with our guide, Susan, to the point of rejecting anything mama did. Mama has had a tough time dealing with that emotionally, but knows that this too shall pass. Xiao E is more accepting of daddy for the most part, because he has no real competition. But......as soon as things looked like they couldn't get any worse, back in the room, daddy got Xiao to have mama open some candy for her, etc. and mama got Xiao E to sleep for her nap. She knows that those kinds of things are mama's "job." Needless to say, the more we can limit her access to Chinese people to do things for her, the more she needs us! We are staying in the room for dinner tonight and have nothing on the schedule for most of tomorrow. We'll see after that.

Xiao E is sleeping right now for her nap with her shoes and coat on. Won't let us take them off except for bath and bed at night. As soon as she wakes up, she has to have everything right back on. She doesn't even want a different outfit. At least she likes baths!!!

Please continue to pray for her to feel trust and peace with us. I think, until she has to adapt to us back in the states, this part of the journey will be rough. I hope being around other children, too, will not be so boring. There are still no other adoptive parents at the hotel, and they are used to many. What luck! Please continue to pray for Paul and myself, as emotionally, this is so hard for us! We feel like we are causing her pain, yet we know in our hearts that we know the bigger picture. We still feel blessed to have her and can't wait for her to be happy. We know she can be, as we have had some good times, too. She is a ham and full of energy when she wants to be!

Until next time!